Every man carries invisible fingerprints on his soul. We’ve all been shaped—by family, culture, mentors, heroes, even by the absence of the voices we longed to hear. For many, the lessons started early: “Real men don’t cry.” “Man up.” “Handle your own problems.” Some of these messages helped us push through challenges, but others subtly distorted our understanding of God, ourselves, and what it...
Ask ten men what it means to be a “real man,” and you’ll get ten different answers. Some will talk about toughness—being strong, independent, and never backing down. Others will point to leadership—providing, protecting, staying in control. Even in the church, we tend to adopt the same ideals with a spiritual spin: men are told to lead, serve, give, attend, and, for heaven’s sake, don’t screw up...
Every man is keeping score, whether he admits it or not. Some tally numbers in the bank account, square footage in the house, or the horsepower under the hood. Others measure it by job titles, social media followers, or how quickly people return their calls. From the time we’re young, the world hands us a scoreboard and says, “Here’s how you know you’re winning.” I was a card-carrying member of...
The lies men pick up along the way seem to stick. Some lies were spoken outright—by a father who said you’d never measure up, by a coach who told you toughness means you’re a real man, or by a boss who managed by intimidation. Other lies are quieter, picked up from culture, comparison, or even church traditions that twisted God’s truth. Unfortunately, these lies don’t stay in our heads;...
What’s often missing in the conversation about “becoming who you were meant to be” is the how. The world tells men to reinvent themselves. The church frequently tells men to behave themselves. Jesus tells men to deny themselves—so they can finally become themselves. We spend years trying to harness the willpower, self-discipline, and the true grit we think necessary to be who God wants us to be...