What’s often missing in the conversation about “becoming who you were meant to be” is the how. The world tells men to reinvent themselves. The church frequently tells men to behave themselves. Jesus tells men to deny themselves—so they can finally become themselves. We spend years trying to harness the willpower, self-discipline, and the true grit we think necessary to be who God wants us to be.
How’s that been workin’ for yah?
We’re hoping for a better version of ourselves, while Jesus isn’t trying to make you better—He’s making you new. Today’s men often overlook what true manhood truly means. Church conversations about growth tend to center around moral to-do lists: lead, serve, give, attend, support, pray, and obey. We talk about becoming more disciplined, but we don’t talk enough about becoming more dependent. We celebrate visible wins and ignore quiet surrender. We push for behavior change when Jesus calls for heart exchange.
Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 5:17 aren’t about improvement—they’re about identity. When you came to Christ, God didn’t hand you a new rulebook; He handed you a new nature. The old labels—failure, tough guy, provider, screw-up—were nailed to the cross with the old man. What rose from the grave was a new creation: a son.
With identity in Christ, we leave the old labels behind.
Scripture
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.
The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”
— 2 Corinthians 5:17 (ESV)
Paul begins with the phrase “If anyone is in Christ…” That small word—in—changes everything. It means your life is now rooted in His. His death becomes your death. His resurrection becomes your rebirth.
When he says “the old has passed away,” he doesn’t mean you’ve just cleaned up your act. He means something far deeper: the former you—the man driven by ego, fear, and the need to prove himself—has been crucified. God isn’t reforming the old you; He’s replacing him.
To live as a new creation is to stop chasing validation and start walking in identity. It’s not about doing more for God; it’s about learning to live from God—trusting His Spirit to do what you could never do through effort alone.
Application
Here’s what’s not being said well: most men are still trying to become the man God wants through the same means that built the man they used to be. We spend years trying to harness the willpower, self-discipline, and self-reliance we think are necessary to grow spiritually, but that’s not how transformation works. God isn’t waiting for you to get stronger; He’s inviting your surrendered.
The truth is, the man you’re becoming can’t emerge until the man you’ve been is laid down. Real growth doesn’t come from trying harder but from trusting deeper. Jesus isn’t asking you to perform better—He’s asking you to follow closer. You can’t live the new life while clinging to the old one.
Every man carries a picture of who he thinks he’s supposed to be—successful, respected, tough, in control. The problem is that none of those things require Jesus. The world teaches us to prove our worth; Christ teaches us to rest in it. Becoming who you were meant to be means letting go of the false definitions that shaped you and allowing God to redefine you through His truth.
Transformation isn’t about mastering yourself; it’s about yielding yourself. It happens when you finally stop managing your image and start surrendering your identity. When you stop striving to earn God’s approval and start living from it. That’s where freedom begins.
So ask yourself—who shaped the man I’ve become? What parts of me were built on fear, pride, or performance? And what would happen if I let those parts die so something better could live? Becoming who you were meant to be isn’t about fixing what’s broken; it’s about allowing God to resurrect what’s dead.
Today’s Challenge: stop trying and start following
Write down two lies you’ve believed about yourself as a man. Maybe it’s “I’ll always mess up” or “My past defines me.”
Then find two Scriptures that confront those lies—truths like Romans 8:1 (“There is therefore now no condemnation…”) or Ephesians 2:10 (“You are His workmanship…”).
Write them side by side. Read them out loud every morning this week. Let your heart hear the truth until your soul starts to believe it.
Then pray this:
“Jesus, unmake the man the world shaped—and remake me into the man You’ve always intended. Strip away what’s false, strengthen what’s true, and help me walk in the freedom You’ve already given me.”
Final Thought
You don’t need another version of yourself. You need resurrection.
The world will keep telling you to be more successful, more impressive, more in control. But Jesus says, “Be Mine.”
Every time you surrender pride, every time you silence the old voices, every time you let grace win—you’re not becoming someone different; you’re becoming who you were meant to be.
Manhood isn’t about achieving perfection—it’s about reflecting Christ. And the more you walk with Him, the more His likeness becomes your legacy.
This week’s step: Each morning this week, stand in front of the mirror and declare:
“The old has gone. The new has come.”
Then live like it’s true—because it is.
