The lies men pick up along the way seem to stick. Some lies were spoken outright—by a father who said you’d never measure up, by a coach who told you toughness means you’re a real man, or by a boss who managed by intimidation. Other lies are quieter, picked up from culture, comparison, or even church traditions that twisted God’s truth.
Unfortunately, these lies don’t stay in our heads; they work their way into our hearts and habits. They become invisible chains: “I’ll never be good enough.” “Real men don’t show emotion.” “What am I doing wrong?” We don’t always recognize them as lies, but they shape how we live, how we relate to others, how we think and act, and how we view our Heavenly Father.
The world tells men they’ll never stack up, never make the mark—it’s too late. The church sometimes echoes this unintentionally, celebrating performance which can leave many men behind. But Jesus offers a better way: “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32). Freedom comes from shining light on those lies, not hiding them in the dark.
Scripture
“…and you will know the truth,
and the truth will set you free”
— John 8:32 (ESV)
In John 8, Jesus speaks to people who thought they already possessed the truth. They were confident in what they knew, practices, and their religion. But Jesus reminds them that truth isn’t something you know, profess, or demonstrate.
Here, John is saying that truth is not a state of mind, it’s Jesus—He is the truth. Knowing “the truth” means knowing Jesus personally. It’s not just intellectual knowledge—it’s a living relationship that changes you from the inside out.
Application
Here’s the part that rarely gets talked about: many men in church never deal with their lies because they’re unsure it’s safe to admit them. Men are told that vulnerability is a sign of weakness, so men keep silent.
Some of the most common lies men believe include:
- “I’ll never make it.” “It” may be a good husband, a loving father, a solid believer. This lie keeps men chained, looking for affirmation, chasing success—never resting in God’s acceptance.
- “Real men don’t show emotion.” This lie deceives men and tells them to bury their feelings, which later erupt as anger, addiction, or distance in relationships.
- “My past disqualifies me.” This lie whispers shame into a man’s story, keeping him sidelined from serving or leading in God’s Kingdom.
And, here’s what’s not talked about well:
- Lies often get baptized in religious language. Men hear, “Do more, try harder, be perfect,” as if God’s love depends on flawless performance. That turns grace into law.
- Lies get reinforced by silence. When men don’t hear other men talk about their struggles, they assume they’re the only ones with problems.
- Lies thrive in comparison. Social media, career ladders, and even church culture feed the idea that success equates to worth. We rarely call out how toxic this cycle really is.
- Lies shape identity. The most dangerous lies aren’t just about what men do—they attack who men are. And unless they’re unlearned, those lies become self-fulfilling.
Jesus calls us to unlearn the lies by replacing them with His truth. That requires honesty, humility, and community. It means letting the Word of God become louder than the world, our past, or even our inner critic. Sharing with a trusted brother in Christ can expose these lies for what they are, obstacles planted by the Devil—to chain you to your past.
Today’s Challenge: Break the hold of these lies
Write down two lies you’ve believed about yourself as a man. Be brutally honest. Don’t soften it. Then search Scripture for two verses that directly speak God’s truth against those lies. Write them side by side and read them out loud as a declaration.
Then pray this:
“Father, I bring my lies into the light. I confess the words I’ve believed that You never spoke over me. Forgive me for letting shame, fear, and pride shape my identity. Replace every lie with Your truth. Teach me to hear Your voice above the noise of the world, my past, or the enemy. Set me free to walk in the confidence of who You say I am—Your son, chosen, redeemed, and loved. Amen.”
Final Thought
You don’t overcome lies by trying harder—you overcome them by bringing them to the Truth. Jesus doesn’t just expose the chains; He breaks them. The world will keep feeding you lies about manhood, worth, and identity. But only the voice of Christ can tell you who you really are.
This week’s step: Each day this week, take one lie you’ve believed and replace it with one truth from Scripture. Write it on a card, set it as your phone wallpaper, or post it where you’ll see it often. By the end of the week, you’ll begin to see how the truth doesn’t just inform you—it transforms you.
